BREAKING NEWS – Reports are flooding the news wires that the formerly Capitalist economic model enjoyed by US citizens for hundreds of years (minus the period when the second Roosevelt inhabited the White House) has been replaced in the last several weeks by Communism. An insidious plot has been uncovered whereas former Soviet eastern bloc nations apparently discovered stockpiles of the Communist doctrine and ideology left over from the early 1990′s. In a perverse twist, the Communist ideals were imported and sold on the open market in an undisclosed location in New York city.
“Who knew you could sell an ideal which, by its very nature, does not respect the free markets?”
The informant that broke the story also said that the “… margins were extraordinary” and “… the low corporate tax rate in my country makes this business even more paradoxical” – as he whispered this information to us with glee, he lit a Cuban cigar with a thousand share AIG stock certificate.